Ode to Cole

My firstborn child turns 18 in one day. How did we get here? Most days, I still feel like an awkward teenager myself. 

He is a remarkable person–intelligent, inquisitive, kind, funny, unflappable…well, you know…Cole has an unlimited capacity for success and has set some incredible goals and ideals for himself that he will have no problem achieving. I would not be the person I am today if he were not my child, and I have learned and done things I would have NEVER attempted if I were not his parent. In honor of his 18th birthday, I’ve listed some of these things:

1. No matter how many times you yell at your child, they still come to you when you call their name.

2. There is no better sound in the world than your child calling for you, even when they’re running toward you, away from the neighbor’s dog that you both hate, with the dog in hot pursuit.

3. There is no better feeling in the world than your newborn baby sleeping on your chest. It’s a fleeting, glimmering flash of totally overwhelming love.

4. Plastic army men don’t explode when taped to sparkler bombs. They melt.

5. A hook-and-eye lock at the top of the doorframe will keep a sleepwalking child from leaving the house at 1:00am when you’re sound asleep.

6. If you give them a computer when they’re 6 years old, they’re likely to become IT experts by 18 and configure an amazing network in their bedroom. However, this means they can never move out because you can no longer connect to the internet without their help.

7. Children will forgive you an amazing number of boo-boos, like throwing away their art project or forgetting to pick them up at school or explaining sex before they’re ready.

8. I’m a rather self-indulgent person, but I’ve learned I have a capacity for physical endurance I never anticipated. This was mostly tested through several years of scouting programs. I also now know how to light a match on my jeans zipper and pull a tick off an 8-year-old boy’s buttocks.

9. No matter how old your child is, when they’re sick or hurt your instinct is still to crawl into bed with them.

10. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell them to leave the cat alone. Eventually, the cat will tell them.

11. Read to your child from the day they’re born, and they will turn into readers. This is the tool that will give them the most success in school. And speaking of school, NEVER miss a parent-teacher conference.

12. Macaroni and cheese can cure almost anything, even lost football games.

13. Talk to your kids. Not about anything in particular, just talk. And be there. Just be there.

14. Teach them to read a map. Then teach them to drive. You will eventually want them to move out, and this ensures that you won’t have to take them to the bus station.

15. Pick your battles. Seriously.

16. Love your child’s significant other as much as they do.

17. No matter how mature they act, remember that they are not as wise as you, and they really are counting on you to give them advice, even when they don’t ask for it.

18. It’s better to embarrass your child than be afraid to show them you love them.
appy birthday, Cole.  I love you.